I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.
"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"
This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.
I ordered my new Erin Condren Planner.
Check them out :) So cool!
how many calories do I burn when I run away from my problems?
So when people leave, I’ve learned the secret: let them. Because, most of the time, they have to.
Let them walk away and go places. Let them have adventures in the wild without you. Let them travel the world and explore life beyond a horizon that you exist in. And know, deep down, that heroes aren’t qualified by their capacity to stay but by their decision to return.
The Staying Philosophy (Everyday Isa)
If you gotta force it, just leave it alone. Relationships, friendships, ponytails.. Just leave it.
Reyna Biddy (via kushandwizdom)
I want to marry you and annoy you for the rest of your life.
Yes mother I have slept for thirteen hours straight but Jesus slept for three days straight and started a religion so I don’t wanna hear it